The Transformers movie = lame

As a child of the 80’s I, like most others of my generation, wet my pants with anticipation when I heard that there was a live action Transformers movie being made. With each new trailer released my excitement grew, and my love of transformers rediscovered just that little bit more.

So when the movie was finally released I rushed to the cinema to see it. I was cautious however, as most movies, games, books etc that are as hyped up as Transformers was, usually tend to not only not live up to expectations, but disappoint instead.

Transformers seemed to be different. Well for the most part. Yes, there was the massively overdone cliche of all the popular guys giving the loveable nerd a hard time. Of course, the most popular of these guys happened to have an insanely hot girlfriend, who stood by while her boyfriend and his friends belittled the nerd, but silently felt pity for the poor kid. Ok, so nothing new so far, we’ve seen this all before. Disappointment number 1.

The second disappointment came a long way into the movie and that was the first time we saw an actual transformer, or some weird interpretation of the once loved robots. No longer could you tell that the robot was made of car parts. The great thing about the original transformers was that a car changed into a robot and still resembled the car! The bonnet was usually the chest and the wheels usually on the shoulders but these new ones… well there is barely any sign that they are in fact a car! To add to the disappointment, apart from colours of each transformer, there is really nothing to distinguish which transformer is which and this becomes blatantly obvious in faster moving scenes, but more about this later.

The rest of the movie was relatively good, no major complaints. There were many poor acting moments and more corny moments between the nerd and the hot chick but nothing that stands out more than any other movies. In fact, I enjoyed the rest of the movie, that is, until it got to the final scene in the city.

The first thing that made no sense in this scene was the fact that the Autobots had the cube which they had to get away from Megatron and the rest of the Decepticons. For some reason, they couldn’t just take it somewhere themselves. No, instead they decided to give it to the army. Why? No idea, they didn’t even try rationalise it. Secondly, if you were being pursued by deadly machines, hellbent on your destruction and you were a robot which didn’t like bringing harm to humans, where would you go? The most populated city you can find of course!! Thinking the story couldn’t get any stupider was a mistake on my part. Next they tell the nerd of the story he has to deliver the cube to the military. Of course! It makes perfect sense. The 20 metre tall robot could walk to the rendevous point in a matter of seconds and the whole ordeal would be over, but that’s just too logical for this movie! So, the nerd takes the cube, running down the main road of the city, being chased by massive robots, which for some reason don’t seem to gain ground on him even though each step he takes covers about 1m compared to the 20m they get. Obviously this kid only gives the illusion that he is a mere mortal, when in fact he is the flash. While all this is happening, the Autobots and Decepticons are battling it out, destroying the city and each other. Who is winning? No idea, you can’t tell who is who since all the robots look basically the same, not even slightly resembling the vehicles they transformed from. Then, to make things even more ridiculous, probably the most powerful and useful transformer, Starscream, is nowhere to be seen. We see him briefly fighting the military in the sky, but that’s about it. Why isn’t he pummeling the Autobots with rockets? Probably because he can’t separate friend from foe because of the above mentioned lack of uniqueness in the robots. Why doesn’t he just lock a missile on to the kid with the cube? Who knows. This scene makes no sense and ultimately, leaves you feeling disappointed with the movie as a whole, even though it was pretty damn good all the way through.

So if you enjoy a good action movie and can overlook a script which was probably written by a drunken manatee then check Transformers out, however if you want to keep the memory of Transformers a good one, turn the movie off before the final battle.

Guitar Heroes

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 was the official release date for Guitar Hero 3 for PS2, PS3, Wii and Xbox 360. To launch the title, Ellaway’s Music in Underwood held an official launch party. Included as part of the night was a performance by a local band, Repeat Offender, then, what we were all there for, a Guitar Hero 3 competition.

The rules were simple. Each registered player (40 in total), chose a song then played that song on the medium difficulty for 3 minutes. The top 5 scorers would go through to the final to compete for a top 3 finish. Each person in final 3 would win a copy of the game and the guitar controller. Incentive enough!

We were given the rules during the day, so I had a few hours to decide on a song to play. The demo which I had played for about 2 weeks featured 5 songs, all of which I could play well enough to get a good score, however I knew by looking on the net that other songs, which I had not played yet, could result in more points, even with a below perfect performance. Based on this, the song I chose to play was Stricken by Disturbed.

When I took to the stage, no significant scores had been posted so I knew even if I played poorly I would still be on top for the time being. I got roughly 157, 000 which was 13, 000 clear of the nearest player at the time. Next up was my brother, Stuart. He played Lay Down by Priestess, a song off the demo which he has played quite a bit. He got 100% off the song and got a score of 166, 000 which put him in the lead. Midge was next, he played My Name Is Jonas by Weezer and got 158, 000 putting him in 2nd spot for the time being. The rest of the night was mostly people just playing their favourite songs, obviously they had not thought about which songs to score the most points in, they were just there to play… suckers. A few good performances pushed me back to 5th place which was enough to make the final 5.

The final 3 was to be decided by playing the hardest song, Through Fire and Flames by Dragonforce on the hard difficulty (see it here). There were no expectations on any of us to even finish the song, it was who could get through the furthest before failing. I went first and got 5% through, which I figured would not get me through. 2 more players attempted it including Midge but could both only conjure 3% each. I was in the top 3 regardless now. Stu was next, he scored a massive 19% and received a massive cheer and even standing ovations from the crowd. This was the night he had worked his entire life for. The final player got 13% enough to finish in 2nd.

So Stuart got 1st and I got 3rd. Is there a more formidable brother combination in the Guitar Hero world? I think it’s highly unlikely.