Ok, let’s make things clear right away, this isn’t a post about drugs, the location or contact details of drug dealers and it has nothing to do with the black market. No, this post is about a far more sinister part of society which exploits the naive and uninformed.
Recently, my younger brother, let’s call him Barry, was pulled over by the police, and had his car subsequently put under a fine tooth comb for defects. Keep in mind, this is no hotted up car, but instead a riced up 95 lancer. Now with a fake bonnet scoop I can understand why the police might want to take a look, but to the best of his knowledge, his car was totally roadworthy. The only modifications he had made to it was a new exhaust, the aforementioned bonnet scoop, new wheels, a taco (no, not a meat taco), a new gear stick and some new racing pedals. All run of the mill stuff for people into their cars (apart from the scoop, I can’t explain that). To his surprise, he was quickly defected for:
- the racing pedals : even though they were plastic as required by law
- the gear stick: simply because the gears were not marked on it
- the wheels: something about them not matching the car’s bolt pattern or something (I don’t know cars and if that doesn’t make sense then I don’t care)
So this, finally, brings me to my point.
WHY THE HELL CAN YOU BUY THESE THINGS IN SHOPS IF THEY ARE ILLEGAL TO ACTUALLY PLACE ON YOUR CAR!!?!
Why can you just waltz down to the local Supercheap or Autobarn and buy racing pedals and gear sticks that if you actually use them for the intended use, then you are going to get a fine and taken off the road?! To quote one of my favourite movies, “It’s f*cking stupid”. Most people, myself included, would just assume that anything you buy at a shop specialising in car equipment would be legal to actually place on your car. I know, it’s a crazy assumption.
Why don’t they just sell guns too? Sure, they are illegal to operate without a license, but that’s not the shop owner’s concern, it’s up to the customer to be responsible and not use it after purchase. It’s the same thing with bongs being sold in tobacco shops. They have no other use (as far as I know anyway, I’m no druggo so if I’m incorrect on this please, don’t tell me, I don’t care) , apart from allowing people to smoke illegal substances. Now if we can’t legally own weed, then why on earth would we possibly have the need to own a contraption purposefully made to use the stuff.
There is a slight difference, however, in selling car parts and bongs. First of all, people buying bongs know very well that what they are going to use them for is illegal, but it’s the innocent victims of defective car parts that need assistance. Places selling these parts should be made to include a disclaimer on all possibly defect-inducing products. The end.
March 16, 2007 at 12:12 am |
I’m sad that you feel “The Government” must control every little detail of our lives such that we can bump around this fine country of ours unthinkingly like twenty million lemmings, crashing to our death every time we happen upon some loophole our Government masters have forgotten to seal up safely, not forgetting of course to smooth off the corners to prevent chafing.
Seriously, we can’t just go legislating about every piece of paraphernalia and knick knack it’s possible to misuse for some kind of wrongdoing. Sure, being allowed to sell bongs doesn’t seem to make sense but as Blaise Pascal said, “Law, without force, is impotent.” Banning bongs means you then have to enforce that ban otherwise it’s pointless having the law in the first place, and then you get into nuanced discussions of whether the vessel could be used just to smoke tobacco and if so why shouldn’t tobacco users be allowed to use that device if they so please? Not to mention possible ornamental uses people have for this kind of thing.
Now let me break down the specific parts attached to your brother’s little hot rod, leaving aside my bewilderment that the police were able to catch “Barry” in the Lancer with that amazing bonnet scoop (+50kW) and spoiler (+70kW) and the tiny wheels obviously chosen to dramatically reduce unsprung weight and thus improve damper control whilst fanging ten-tenths through corners with the police in tow.
The gearstick is a silly one. I for one am not too certain about that law but I’ve heard of tonnes of people (“tonnes of people” evokes images of people in dump trucks doesn’t it?) being done for that in the past, it’s not a new thing. Although it is ridiculous, I know I can’t get out of second gear without peering down at my H-pattern to make sure it’s really still bang straight down from first. But what if I have a show car — and let’s face it, how many bogans don’t secretly fantasize that their car will be a show car once they get that spray job finished — and I want to have a fancy gear stick? Or I drive on the racetrack and the standard gear stick isn’t sufficient? It only takes two minutes to change a gear knob, it’s feasible that there are many reasons why I would want one that doesn’t meet the letter of the law.
I believe car foot pedals need to have rubber on them to be legal. This is fine by me, I don’t want Billy finishing his McShift, walking out to his VL with pursuities and chucking a big skid into a pensioner because the pickles on his shoes made him slip right off the brake pedal. Just as an example. If Barry’s pedals have rubber (not plastic I don’t believe but I’m no lawyer) then the police are just silly.
The wheels. You hide your lack of technical knowledge behind a facade of apathy, but if they’re the wrong bolt pattern then they ain’t screwed onto the car. So maybe they’re the wrong offset or PCD (pitch circle diameter or something) which puts weird loads on your suspension, hubs and possibly the studs which could make them snap. I’m not saying Barry’s car is really setup wrong but those are possibilities the coppers, who aren’t engineers, are on the lookout for. I think it sucks, the car should have to be examined by an engineer if the police have doubts — probably the same cost as a fine to the owner, plus the owner probably gets to keep his wheels if they’re ok. But the wheels would no doubt fit some car. It is pretty irresponsible of the person who fitted the wheels to the Lancer if they should have known what they were doing and put the wheels on a car they don’t really fit on.
But it sounds to me that the police were just being a bit…enthusiastic. Barry, you should appeal this fine and see if there’s any way you can get out of it, cause it’s rubbish.
As far as people being allowed to sell things that are possibly illegal or dangerous in some circumstances, we need to hold back on asking our politicians and bureaucrats to mother us at every turn, it’s just silly, makes our government and laws too big and adds useless red tape for businesses (ever wonder why we don’t get the fun cars from Japan here? Australian Design Rules my friend — oh and our petrol is shit.)
This is now a ramble so I will stop typing even though my MacBook Pro keyboard feels so damn good.
March 16, 2007 at 11:06 am |
Darn pigs.
March 16, 2007 at 11:31 am |
The oinkers told me that ‘any aftermarket pedals are illegal’, also ‘any gearstick other than the standard one is illegal’, although i know that to be false. i wasnt about to go off my rocker at them though, as i had hoped that by being understanding and nice would lead them to act the same way. how wrong was i.
mrs piggy was telling me how my car is a ‘highly modified vehicle’ amongst her ripping my seat covers off to question if the plane jane lancer seats were racing seats, and that it should be off the road. just cause youre bleeding out of your vagingle doesnt mean you can be a cow to everyone that isnt.
when i lift the bonnet for them to try and pin me for more stupid things, bacon-burger shouts out a nice ‘whats that??’ while pointing to………..my alarm! nice one porky. no doubt he was looking for the turbo, pod filter, and intercooler on my dirty little 1.5L carby engine and was overwhelmed by the lack of said mods so he decided to also get me for a worn out pipe (seriously, there was about a 1cm gap in one side of a 4cm long piece of almost alfoil like piping) that is used for the transfer of hot air to the carby in the event of snowy conditions. darn that snowy Queensland weather!
A big shout out to Bob Jane T-Mart as well. thanks for fitting my wheels that appear to have had new stud holes drilled into them without telling me this. mr bacon said that ‘theres no way they would do that, its highly illegal’, but the simple fact that the wheels had the tyres placed on them and then fitted to the car at Bob Jane T-Mart suggests that they did in fact put them on.
Thank you swine and bob jane t-mart, you will now never get another ounce of respect (or business) from me.
March 21, 2007 at 1:11 pm |
The reason autobarn can sell “illegal” parts is that they are not illegal for all cars. The law should be that the sellers have to mark those items with a warning to check your car against the part.
Steering wheel is obvious…as untrained road drivers, we can’t handle wheels too small for our steering ratio. Pedals can also be illegal if too wide of the pedal assembly.
RE the bob jane stuff, take the car in and ask them with the receipt or go to the station and file a complaint/inquirey about it.
March 21, 2007 at 2:02 pm |
Ive no doubt got the receipt somewhere, but it was about 4 years ago that i got them put on and have never had a problem, so i doubt they (Bob Jane Wanker Mart) even remember my car. the receipt is probably a generic one and wouldnt actually have any indication of what actual wheels were fitted, just that i got wheels fitted in general.
ive got the gearstick box that it came in and there is not one mention of it not being legal for road use. that would lead one to assume that it is in fact alright to put on your motor vehicle, since thats what theyre made for, without copping a defect.
the pedals were not defected for their size or anything like that, just the fact that they were aftermarket and as such are illegal. no metal on them, right size for the pedals, very securely fitted – to get them off i tried just ripping them off but had to unscrew about 4 screws on each pedal to get them off – so i fail to see how a problem.
i hate police, especially women ones when their aunt flow has come to visit.
April 2, 2007 at 11:14 pm |
On second thought it’s about time somebody made you take all that ricey shit off your car
April 3, 2007 at 8:45 am |
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap!