I hate Cameron aka. ‘Merlin’

Recently I listened to ‘You can’t move into my house’ by Frenzal Rhomb. Now this is a cool song and it holds a special place in my heart (well maybe not my heart, whatever the opposite of heart is). It sends me back to a time where I was a carefree teenager living the simple school life, all of which was tainted by one anus faced retard.

For the sake of his privacy (what a lie, to save myself from slander charges) I won’t use his full name but instead will only mention his first name: Cameron, and his online alias: Merlin, which is a really lame name and was made worse by the fact he tried to use this in the real world. Throughout the rest of this post I will refer to him only as “assface”.

Anyway, onto the reason for my hatred. It all started back in high school where I was quite good friends with Assface. Obviously for some reason my judgement of him was clouded, as I would find out later, he was a douchebag. Apparently his father knew this far sooner than I and turfed his ass out on the streets. My mum, being a kind hearted soul offered him a place to stay temporarily until he could organise other accomodation. So Assface stayed at my place, sleeping on spare matresses. As with most friends you have times where you annoy each other, but for the good part of a week he was ok company. This soon all changed when it became obvious he didn’t plan on leaving any time soon. He, being a total loser, didn’t have a job, and so would stay at my place all weekend and all school holidays playing my Playstation and using my TV, stereo etc. I soon tired of this, and tension arose between us. He noticed this (as I found out later in a letter he wrote which he planned to give to me but never did because he is gutless) but failed to act upon it and move out. Instead he stuck around for ages acting as a blight on my soul.

Another blemish on his record is the fact he ended up dating, for years, a girl who he, up until the day they started dating, described as ‘ugly’, ‘annoying’ and ‘disgusting’. This is mainly due to the fact she was all of the above. When these two began bumping uglies, the world became a dark place. Children in the streets cried when they saw the embrace of two of the worlds most pathetic beings. Full grown men cried at the thought of them being happy, when they deserve nothing but the opposite. It made me sad inside.

Eventually, Assface’s mother took him in, and he moved to Sydney to live with her. This was one of most happy moments in my life, and a dance known famously as ‘The Cameron’s Gone to Sydney Dance’ was born. Assface then made a comment to a mutual friend which fueled my hatred for him, that he was only using my family for a place to stay and that he didn’t like any of us anyway. What a cockgobbler.

There’s no real reason for this post, I just needed to put this out there, so others can be warned. I do, however, hope Assface will stumble upon it someday and in case of this I will finish with the following comment: Cameron, if you ever read this, I hate you and I hope you get aids.