Nokia ringtones are for tards

Nokia: the world’s largest manufacturer of mobile phones, and the bane of my existence.

Up until recently I had never owned a Nokia phone. They all seemed to be too boring with small screens and they all looked the same. They seemed to release a new phone each week, and with that kind of lifespan I never considered buying one. Another reason was the lack of 3G support in the cheaper models.

All that changed recently when, upon the expiration of my contract with 3 I was offered a new Nokia 6288 on a $29 cap. I was spending around $55 a month at the time on my Motorola E1000 and the Nokia had the same features as the Motorola with a few extra additions so the choice was simple. After I got home with my new Nokia and charged it just like the manual instructs, the first thing I did was change my ring and message tones. I did this to save myself major embarrassment later of getting a phone call in public and still having the default nokia tune as my ringtone. Because, as you will soon find out, if you still have the default nokia ringtone in use, then you are a tard.

In case you don’t know the tune I’m talking about then here it is (be warned, it is utter crap and this is actually a polyphonic version of the real annoying one).

“How does leaving a catchy little nokia tune as your ringtone make you a tard?”, you ask. I’ll tell you.

• It’s not catchy at all, it’s utter shite. If you think it’s a nice tune, shoot yourself in the head now before you can procreate.
• Just about every second person has a Nokia, so that means everytime a Nokia rings, every single moron with a default nokia ringtone has to check to see if it’s their phone that is ringing.
• It makes you look like one of those old geezers that has no idea how to operate his mobile phone, let alone change a ringtone.
• Mobile phones these days can play mp3s and aac amongst other things. They do this so you can listen to music you like on your phone and, shock horror, use music you like as your ringtone. Amazing, I know. Why would you choose to listen to a boring nokia tune when you could listen to your favourite song?!

Then of course there is the other side of things, where maybe you are actually mentally handicapped and for that reason you are unable to navigate your nokia menus to change your ringtones. In this case, you’re definently a tard, no arguments.

If you are reading this and you have the default Nokia ring or message tone selected, then for your own sake, change it now. You don’t wanna be a tard do you?